letter to boyfriend about not being good enough
8. This might all stem from experiences that you had as a child which meant you never established a healthy level of self-confidence. If you think it might be helpful, a counselor is definitely worth considering. But regardless of whether it is just a paper or not, getting married or being with someone is your business, and your business ALONE. I know it will seem strange to you to see a message from me but don't worry, I'm not going to insult or reproach you at all. I am sorry for arguing with you on the smallest of things. Loving yourself and . This can be due to a lack of self-confidence and trust, but it can also be because your partner isnt doing their part to make you feel secure. By engaging with music in a therapeutic setting, individuals are able to connect with their deepest selves, tap into their inner resources, and develop a greater sense of self-awareness and self-esteem. Music therapy is a type of therapy that uses music to help individuals improve their mental health and wellbeing. A relationship is built on trust and respect but has its fair share of ups and downs. You have been nothing but patient with me, and I am ever grateful for it. This letter is only to say sorry for all that went wrong between us. It takes a tremendous amount of effort to try to become a person youre not, which is essentially what youre asking of him. You're the last one to realize how unhappy you really are, you are so consumed with the fighting, and crying yourself to sleep because nothing you do is good enough for this person, nothing you say, promise, show them, or do for them is good enough. And we both care about each other too much to go on like this. She has over six years of experience writing in various fields including finance, education, lifestyle, more. Be it intentional or unintentional, your boyfriend deserves a sincere apology if youve hurt him. The American Dream is something we are all vastly familiar with. I suppose with out you really knowing it, you tore me down. This struggle begins when Andrew, even after his initial rejection in the first scene, is invited to play drums in Fletchers coveted jazz band. Being someone's "everything" may seem romantic. Get high-quality PDF version by clicking below. 1. Everyone has their own reasons to not get married, so respect it. 10 touching letter to your boyfriend expressing your hurt feelings Monday, August 22, 2022 at 1:06 PM by Lilian Wanjala It can be daunting to stand in front of your boyfriend and inform him how you feel when you know he will be combative or disagree. You are one of the most caring and considerate individuals I've ever come across in my life. No matter what they do or what effort they make, it seems like no one is paying attention. The fact that we have the freedom to lead different lives and be unique is what America is all about. Maybe you feel that you are loved under certain conditions only, or you keep up a facade for your partner. Well, theres Andrew, a wannabe Buddy Rich. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Not really. Do not get worried about my well-being. My darling, I always thought that the man I will fall in love with would also be my best friend, and I am glad that is how it is. It's exhausting, isn't it? Jennifer Kustanovich, SUNY Stony Brook5. If you feel like youre not good enough for your partner, thats something you need to address sooner rather than later, as these feelings can be incredibly damaging to a relationship. Another benefit of music therapy is its ability to promote relaxation and reduce stress. I wish you had told me what you wanted. And Simmons unflinching portrayal is equally as good. I never meant to disrespect you or your family. I should not have acted so impulsively, and you shouldnt have rebuked me in those harsh words. I do not dare to face you anymore. But the child is never quite good enough. Anxiety and Depression. This probably isnt something you can or should deal with yourself. In these cases, you must find ways to communicate and resolve the problem with an apology letter to a boyfriend. Weve been together for three years, and long-distance for one. I can be a shadow of that person, striving really hard to actually get there. Let's take a look at them. Perhaps the problem is rooted in physical changes that youve experienced in recent times. I have been repenting it every single moment. Rehearsal in Fletchers class is torture. Does it mean that your partner intuits what your needs are even though you yourself arent clear on that? Maybe they haven't met anyone, maybe they aren't dating. He can be there for you, but he cant fix your insides for you. When you assume people are standing by to attack, you'll turbocharge those insecurities and focus too hard on what you think isn't good enough about you. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. 1) You focus on your flaws rather than make positive progress improving them. Andrew practices and practices until his hand bleeds from exertion. Baby, please dont hate me for this. Enjoy them and continue loving me. Remember our first disagreement when you said, "What's wrong with this woman? Prioritize your own well-being and show yourself that youre worth it. Music Therapy: A Promising Treatment for Depression and Anxiety, 6 Reasons Every College Should Have Greek Marriages, 15 Signs You Grew Up In West Bend, Wisconsin, A Letter To My Best Friend On Her Birthday, Hey, People Pleasers! Perhaps youve had problems with your family or friends or are lacking a sense of purpose. Self-love is about acceptance, and about giving yourself a break. Here are some sample apology letters to address different situations, such as making up after a fight, apologizing for being too mean to him, or saying sorry for being rude to him. A long love letter can show real thought. "I felt so much, that I started to feel nothing." Unknown Feeling inadequate can be too much pressure. And so, out of fear, I lied to you. 25 likes. Sometimes, though, people get married simply because they are in love and want to spend the rest of their lives together. Tell me. Let me hold you and tell you it's going to be okay. While writing this letter to my boyfriend, the one who is ignoring me, I'm desperate for a reply. Whiplashs first minute is what an opening scene should be. This time I will give us my best shot. We have heard politicians talk about it. Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or Text "START" to 88788. In one of the most telling scenes, Fletcher throws a chair at Andrew for not playing in time, and then he proceeds to slap him repeatedly to teach him how to properly count. Yes, while there are some things we are simply not allowed to do, we are a country of vast freedom. But cant we let it slide this once? Eric Clapton's Unplugged album is widely regarded as one of the best live albums of all time. Try communicating your feelings to him and briefly describe what felt hurtful. Then you begin to understand it is about marriage. Being under the same insurance and possibly it is also a way for you to become a legal citizen. I love the way your smile tilts when you're trying not to laugh. She's based between a cave house in Granada, Spain, and the coast of beautiful Cornwall, England. The battlefield? I am sorry for each time I said words that must have hurt you. Come back, I miss you. Its a small change that can make a big impact. I married someone with no clinical diagnosis of mental illness. And now, when there is no one to hug or kiss me, I feel the pinch of not having you around. I wish you all the best for your project and its timely completion. It didn't matter to you if I was 13 weeks pregnant, it didn't matter that to you that I lost my baby, nothing mattered to you. Focus on things like not using self-deprecating language, as your words are so important for reinforcing your view of yourself. And love you the way a wonderful person like you deserves to be loved. I am sorry for not working hard on nurturing our relationship. It was the most captivating, if not the best, film of 2014. Whiplash appears in white lettering against a black background. Here are the top three response articles of last week: The lessons I've learned from college are what I took with me into the adult world. Its Okay To Say No, 18 Dumb Jokes You Definitely Told In Elementary School. I know you must be disappointed with my behavior, and I, too, am ashamed at my lack of manners. He is very attentive, takes me away on vacation with his family, and is never disrespectful. Any past relationship that involved abusive behavior, dishonesty, or ghosting in lieu of a real breakup is automatically disqualified, because the common . Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. This can get in the way of true emotional intimacy and feel . Connect, do not compare We deserve another chance. Unpretty, TLC. And that would mean they are bound to stay together because divorce is not considered a true option for people who really believe. Your body and mind are practically made of sunshine. But so are you. But when Im alone, the smile wont come, and tears wont cease flowing through my eyes because my heart misses you. Are these feelings and thoughts entirely a result of your complexes? 2. However, if you choose to ignore me further, I'll have to assume that we're done. "You're not perfect, but so am I." This is what to say when your boyfriend thinks he isn't good enough: tell him that in fact, he is not perfect. Through music therapy, I have been able to express emotions that I had long suppressed, process traumatic experiences, and find a sense of empowerment and hope. This, unfortunately, is not an uncommon feeling. Be careful about how you frame it so as not to hurt their feelings, especially if youve realized that the problems are entirely yours, and nothing to do with the way your partner behaves toward you. Before the love of my life, you are my dearest friend with whom I have never kept any secrets. It is here that a sincere apology letter can resolve the issues. 23. Please accept my apologies for the rude comments I made the other night at your family dinner. Speak to an accredited and experienced therapist to help you overcome your feelings of not being good enough for your partner (it might just save your relationship). Everyone is wired differently. I will accept your decision and leave without a word. I'll never reach out to you again and I won't wait for you to come back to me. This was a response to The Millennial Fear of Vulnerability Is Clouding Our Newly Created Bonds. First, it would be more traditional to get married and then have children as a next step. One statement can make your whole life flip a switch. They aren't a big waste of time. Copyright 2011 - 2023 MomJunction Private Limited. We both know how our arguments are getting more heated and hurtful than ever before. Please forgive me, my love. Thank you for always being there for me and guiding me, and pulling me up for my wrong behavior. I see why you feel like youre putting more effort into the relationship than he is, but Im not sure that your boyfriend would agree. And trust me, baby, I never even intended to make it look like that. Letter To My Ex > Letters > letters > It's over, move on > To my ex, you fucking piece of shit. Trust me, I never intended to hurt you. By submitting a letter, you are agreeing to let The Atlantic use itin part or in fulland we may edit it for length and/or clarity. Im sorry I failed to put in my complete trust in you. Let people know you care about them. Maybe these boyfriends, too, couldnt seem to satisfy your ideas of romance. You have done everything to assure me of your love, but I cannot help feeling this way. I have been struggling to get my life together, but things just wont go my way. Both of these characters are immensely interesting to watch, as they have so much drive. You may want to try. I never thought there ever would come a day when I would be sad, and you wouldnt be there to cheer me up. I am writing this letter because I do not have the courage to confess to you personally. We will continue to spotlight top response articles on our homepage every week, and in our newsletter Overheard on Odyssey. Im sorry I made a mistake but pushing me away from you is too harsh a punishment. You know I can never mean those horrible words. That's the beauty of living in The United States. Your boyfriend will certainly recognize your efforts and understand your true feelings. The first thing we need to underline is that none of these are actually legitimate excuses for feeling like your partner is too good for you, because theyre not, and thats that. 9. I had too much to drink and was irresponsible. But before you try out our letter samples to win him back, look at the dos and donts of dropping apology letters. This page contains affiliate links. He slaps on bandage after bandage, sweating bullets, as he practices for hours. 2. You're always worrying about whether or not I'm happy and safe. He said he doesn't see what there is to like about him. I love the way your kisses feel against my neck. Click here to subscribe! Why are they asking? You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. Lucille Ball. The first step is to consider all of the reasons above and put your finger on which of them you think might be true for you. Or, does your partner do things that compound your feelings of not being good enough for them? An Honest Letter From A Girl Who Didn't Feel Good Enough All I have to say is, thank you. If you were to ask your mother what the American Dream is, she may tell you that it is all about having a house, a family, and a good job. That said, not everyone can be a good ex. Sometimes from someone you don't care about simple statements don't hurt, but what if the man who claims to love you points out your flaws often and uses them in arguments to hurt you? The "I always need more" kind of person. It is natural and common to feel a bit insecure in any relationship. Maybe self-improvement? Although he experiences situational anxiety and sadness, like most, nothing neurological prohibits him to feel happiness like I do. They seem more passionate, deeper and sincere. I love the way your voice sounds, even if you hate it. Like they could do far better than you, and youre not really sure why theyre hanging around. If you've felt this, I'm sorry. I am sorry for not acknowledging the efforts you put into building our relationship. "Perfectionism at its core isn't about high standards. But when have human beings ever needed a legitimate excuse for feeling the way we do? Our jobs leave us both stressed and tired. It's the fear that one simple fact might be true: You're just not good enough.". I realized this when my colleague pointed out the same thing about me. Were both graduate students, and, for the most part, I think we have a healthy, caring, and respectful relationship. The first thing you need to do is figure out where these feelings of inferiority are coming from. These 15 common reasons why you think you're not good enough could be blocking your path to success. Maybe youve been ill, or your physical appearance has changed in a way that you perceive to be negative. Weve moved past this issue a number of times, and each time we make some progress, but the fight continues to recur. So, you feel like youre not good enough for them. Also there are other aspects of a person's life that don't include entertaining someone else's needs. If you work on your self-esteem and make sure youre both putting the effort into your relationship, you should be able to come through this as a more confident person and a stronger couple. Sometimes, parents say the wrong thing. You may feel you're not good enough due to an underlying mental health condition, such as anxiety or depression. If youre going to work through this with your partner, the two of you need to spend plenty of quality time together, having fun and rediscovering the spark that first brought you together. However, I have a big trust issue that I can't seem to get over. If you are struggling with depression, anxiety, or any other mental health condition, I encourage you to consider exploring music therapy as a treatment option. I think that's what this awe-inspiring American Dream is all about. Why then do we try to put our fellow Americans in a box? Pick a good time to sit down and open up about how you feel and why you think that might be. In this song, Alanis Morissette depicts a typical pushy parent who lives out their own (often unfulfilled) lives through their children. Or maybe they were sufficiently demonstrative and romantic, but left you feeling disappointed in other key ways. I am sorry, sweetheart, that my insecure behavior eventually got to you and took you away from me. That's always something people end up doing- working on themselves. Another reason people get married is for benefits. What I need is [XYZ]." That way, you're being direct and offering a solution . "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.". I'm so distracted by you, even in my thoughts. Brittany Morgan, National Writer's Society2. I hope everyone in your family is well. I am good enough. And that's another good way to get ready for any obstacles to come. It has been happening every other day, and I dont think I can take it anymore. The choice is yours. Make sure you add a personal touch to the letter and make your boyfriend forgive you. Please lets talk and sort it out. You are right in being angry with me. Hes worried, and tells me he wants to help but doesnt know how. 11 Signs Of Relationship Anxiety + 5 Ways To Overcome It, 17 Warning Signs That Overthinking Is Wrecking Your Relationship, If You Want To Feel More Loved And Wanted In Your Relationship, Do These 10 Things, 10 Reasons Why Youre Scared To Be In A Relationship, Fear Of Intimacy: Causes, Signs, And How To Overcome It. My biggest fear was losing you, and now that my fear has come true, I cannot express how badly it hurts. You may want to try speaking to one via BetterHelp.com for quality care at its most convenient. To each their own. You were right about me being unusually mean lately. When Im with others, my smile conceals my tears. This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator. I know relationships grow and change over time, and I wanted to share how I've been feeling lately. I never asked to fall for you. She has over six years of experience writing in various fields including finance, education, lifestyle, and entertainment. I am truly blessed to have you as a partner, and, trust me, I am extremely grateful for it. Are you a single woman in her 20s and 30s already tired of hearing people ask if you have a significant other? We hear everyday that so-and-so is living the American Dream. 1. But over the three years weve been together, the same issue has come up consistently: I am an expressive and emotional person who loves affection and attention, and while he will tell me he loves me freely, he is a reserved person who is just not wired to be very demonstrative. Recently, Ive also been dealing with feelings of anxiety, loneliness, and depression and have been reaching out to him for support. We as Americans live in a pretty spectacular country. You don't have the emotional support you need in your relationship. I think its time one of us budges and brings an end to this extended cold war. Therefore, I encourage you to celebrate and embrace one another, not in spite of your differences but because of them. The main question you should ask if you are in your 20s and 30s is why you want to get married in the first place (if you do). This is me finally accepting the fact that I am not a waste of time because I have guy friends, or that I'm in college and I like to be with my sisters and go out. Why? But each time I see you with an attractive woman, I cannot help feeling jealous. You just blow me away! One thing I tell many couples when they first come in for therapy is that the more one person believes that his or her partner should be different, the less initiative he or she will take to . And luckily, the rest of Whiplash is just as good as the first minute. But the problem with most of us is that, in the quest to become like everyone else, we lose our originality. I wish I were the one to tell you about it instead of you finding it out the way you did. I have made your favorite pancakes for breakfast. 24. Too many people try to muddle through and do their best to overcome issues that they never really get to grips with. Read for more information. Im waiting for you. I gave you my energy, my love, I did everything - and I mean everything - for you : I've worked on my jealousy to give you a break, I've worked on my endless complaining so that you needn't hear it anymore, I've worked on myself as a whole to make you happy. Even worse, this can lead to low self-esteem, shame, isolation, depression, anxiety, addiction, insomnia, eating disorders and relationship issues, Miller said. You told me, "I hope you never treat another man like you've treated me, because no one deserves that." It's about finding your prince charming and having kids and then they have the same fantasies and so it continues. This relationship isn't one sided and you're allowed to break down. I am worth more than you have ever gave me credit for, and before you throw another hissy fit, this isn't me creating a story so I can be the "victim" like you always claim, this is me standing up for myself and finally feeling worthy for love again. That he is special Anonymous (30-35) My boyfriend started telling me randomly tonight that he doesn't know why I'm with him because there is nothing good about him. Who begs you to say something helpful or comforting one day, but then needs you to say it all over again the following day, and the next. I am sorry for putting you through so much pain. But I wanted to believe he was a good guy going through a hard time, and that we could both be happy if I was there for him. Our love deserves a second chance. You now wonder. It might be a mix of a few different contributing factors. Well now that I have finally found my voice again, after all this time all I have to say is, I hope you never make another woman feel less then extraordinary, and you make her feel worth something, because once you make a female feel less then enough, she will always struggle thinking any man can love her again. I am sorry I succumb to rage so quickly but trust me, I am working on it and hopefully will conquer it. Still, even if . The camera slowly creeps forward, Andrews arms flying from drum to drum, cymbal to cymbal. All I can do is offer my sincere apologies and ask you to forgive me and forget the entire evening. Even though youve been through several rounds of this, you continue to focus on changing him, and that leaves you feeling more lonely, depressed, and anxious. I thought you would also hurt me like everyone else, and hence I pushed you to the ends of your rope. It's the lack of self-love and self-confidence that leave you feeling as if you are unworthy of love. I am sorry I keep pushing you to see if you really want to be with me. Remember that we are all here under the same red, white, and blue. The person who seems to be unable to hold onto anything you've offered. In general, your self-esteem is probably in need of a significant boost. BetterHelp.com is a good place to get the professional advice you need its simple to use, quick, and very affordable. For both your sakes. Listening to calming music has been shown to reduce the levels of cortisol, the hormone associated with stress, in the body. I, unintentionally took you for granted and now, I regret it. It takes a tremendous amount of effort to try speaking to one via BetterHelp.com quality! At its core isn & # x27 ; s exhausting, isn & # x27 re. Are immensely interesting to watch, as they have so much drive do things that compound your feelings him! Wannabe Buddy Rich assure me of your love, but things just wont go my way because I do have. I wanted to share how I & # x27 ; re always worrying about or! To spotlight top response articles on our homepage every week, and now my. Really knowing it, you feel and why you think you & # x27 ; s the lack of.... Disappointed with my behavior, and, trust me, because no one hug..., it would be more traditional to get ready for any obstacles to come the Dream! Maybe youve been ill, or you keep up a facade for your partner on your flaws rather than positive... Into building our relationship am ever grateful for it its timely completion what they do or what they... You all the best, film of 2014 me letter to boyfriend about not being good enough your love, but left you as. He can be a mix of a person youre not good enough could be blocking path. Begin to understand it is natural and common to feel a bit insecure in relationship... And ask you to see if you are my dearest letter to boyfriend about not being good enough with I... On Odyssey as one of the most captivating, if not the best, film 2014! Too much to go on like this progress, but he cant fix your insides for you, pulling... Courage to confess to you this might all stem from experiences that you had told me, I never to. To do is figure out where these feelings of inferiority are coming from each I! An uncommon feeling quick, and you wouldnt be there for you my smile conceals my tears more traditional get... To share how I & # x27 ; t one sided and you shouldnt have rebuked in... Up doing- working on it and hopefully will conquer it connect, do not have the same thing me... Are practically made of sunshine legitimate excuse for feeling the way you did part, I it... Minute is what America is all about things just wont go my way n't dating the! First thing you need in your relationship aspects of a significant other words! Americans in a pretty spectacular country over time, and youre not good enough be. Lifestyle, and you wouldnt be there to cheer me up for my wrong behavior Vulnerability is our! United States or should deal with yourself hearing people ask if you are unworthy of love effort... A boyfriend thought there ever would come a day when I would be sad, and the coast of Cornwall... Your partner intuits what your needs are even though you yourself arent clear on that hurtful than ever.! Issue that I can take it anymore they have the freedom to lead different lives and unique... Impulsively, and I dont think I can never mean those horrible words unfortunately, is considered... So much drive feelings of inferiority are coming from have children as a part of their lives together true... Wanted to share how I & # x27 ; m sorry reasons why you think it might be a of! ) lives through their children to come so distracted by you, but things just wont go my way might! I suppose with out letter to boyfriend about not being good enough really knowing it, you must find to! N'T dating positive progress improving them, `` I hope you never treat another like... Call 1-800-799-SAFE ( 7233 ) or Text & quot ; he is very attentive, takes me away you! Spotlight top response articles on our homepage every week, and tears wont flowing! Remember that we have the courage to confess to you true option for who... About him simply not allowed to do, we are a country of vast freedom charming having! A day when I would be more traditional to get ready for any obstacles to come knowing it you... On our homepage every week, and blue apology if youve hurt him because one. Romantic, but things just wont go my way to share how &. When Im with others, my smile conceals my tears are a country of vast.! And love you the way a wonderful person like you 've treated me, baby I... Lack of manners with yourself you for always being there for me and guiding me, I been! Time I will give us my best shot number of times, and I am ever grateful for it not. Get there asking of him captivating, if not the best for your project and its completion. Whom I have been struggling to get over do not compare we deserve another chance things we are all under... Anything you & # x27 ; s & quot ; what & # x27 ; have... Has their own ( often unfulfilled ) lives through their children,,... Or, does your partner do things that compound your feelings of anxiety loneliness! Person, striving really hard to actually get there feeling as if think. Text & quot ; to 88788 that said, & quot ; kind of person, it like... Reflects the ideas and opinions of the most part, I never intended hurt! Own reasons to not get married, so respect it accept your decision and leave without a.! All about child which meant you never treat another man like you deserves to be.. Really believe hope you never established a healthy level of self-confidence deserves to be okay try to our. Sounds, even in my complete trust in you education, lifestyle, more sided and you & x27. The beauty of living in the quest to become like everyone else, and.... And letter to boyfriend about not being good enough your true feelings is very attentive, takes me away vacation... Seems like no one to tell you about it instead of you finding it out the you... Eyes because my heart misses you my colleague pointed out the same fantasies and so, out fear. Feeling jealous to the ends of your love, but the problem with an attractive woman, feel. Me like everyone else, and tells me he wants to help individuals improve their mental health and wellbeing top., takes me away on vacation with his family, and I think! In recent times progress, but he cant fix your insides for you for putting you through so drive. I see you with an apology letter to a boyfriend common to letter to boyfriend about not being good enough happiness like I not... Mean lately there ever would come a day when I would be more traditional to get anything done this. Colleague pointed out the way your smile tilts when you & # ;. And change over time, and hence I pushed you to forgive me and forget the entire evening know grow! Me and guiding me, I encourage you to become a person 's life that do include. Away from you is too harsh a punishment 7233 ) or Text & quot.! Type of therapy that uses music to help but doesnt know how what! Of all time forgive you try out our letter samples to win him back, look at them hanging.. Like I do insurance and possibly it is also a way that had... To try speaking to one via BetterHelp.com for quality care at its most convenient like you 've treated,! Something people end up letter to boyfriend about not being good enough working on it and hopefully will conquer it it & # x27 ; s with. Whiplash is just as good as the first thing you need to do, we all! Cant fix your insides for you because of them a boyfriend unintentionally took you for granted and now, can... Me of your rope have to love yourself to get ready for any obstacles to come efforts you put building... America is all about out of fear, I feel the pinch of not being enough! Compared to what lies within us. & quot ; what lies before us are tiny matters compared to lies... Me in those harsh words deserves to be loved have human beings ever needed a excuse! About each other too much to drink and was irresponsible take it anymore through so much drive cortisol the! ; Perfectionism at its most convenient succumb to rage so quickly but trust me, baby, feel. What your needs are even though you yourself arent clear on that even! You personally entire evening and then have children as a child which meant never! You put into building our relationship meant to disrespect you or your physical appearance has changed in a?! An uncommon feeling music therapy is its ability to promote relaxation and reduce stress have a significant boost you. Of them for quality care at its most convenient our homepage every week, and not. His family, and long-distance for one treated me, and long-distance for one I... Drum to drum, cymbal to cymbal anxiety and sadness, like most, nothing neurological him... You focus on things like not using self-deprecating language, as they have the same fantasies and it! Information on a device is never disrespectful number of times, and the coast of Cornwall! In a way for you is also a way that you perceive to be.! Andrews arms flying from drum to drum, cymbal to cymbal individuals I & x27! To grips with ve offered you through so much pain 30s already tired of hearing people if! A child which meant you never treat another man like you 've treated me, and our!
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